An excerpt

In case people are wondering what I’m working on for the new collection, here’s a piece of one of the stories in it.

 

The news, it can erode you

In the past month or so, I’ve seen quite a few news stories that affected me personally because they reminded me of myself. It’s a kind of narcissism, I suppose. Why don’t I take every story of tragedy and pain and internalize them? Well, I don’t do that because I would fucking die. Sorry. It’s a selfish choice but I love my wife and the life we have together and I want to keep living it, so I’m simply going to try and not let every story of injustice, pain, fear and the selfish cruelty of human to human seep into my soul.

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Yet another unsolicited opinion

This one really isn’t about Dylan Farrow’s open letter. It’s not about that because that speaks for itself, and eloquently. It’s about the discussion that keeps surfacing, then receding – the one people want to have about the purpose of speaking out years down the road. The discussion that drives me into a rage so profound I can barely see.

I’ll lay out the situation from my position – when I was ten, someone my family knew and trusted began raping me. It continued, off and on, for three years. It was not very often – maybe ten times in total, maybe less. I remember specific incidents – the first time, and the last time – but not the overall course of events. It was not my mother nor my father, but someone they had no reason to doubt, and I never told anyone. (I only mention that it was not my parents to forestall any guessing games.) I don’t know why it started, or why it ended. I mostly remember fear, and disgust, and whispers about how nobody could find out or they’d blame me, send me away, and I believed and I was silent. I’ve talked about this before, but not easily or well, and I doubt I’ll ever be able to talk about it comfortably. So I admire Dylan Farrow’s courage and willingness to stand up. And many of her details ring true – in my case, it was a dirtbike that I really wanted that lured me outside the first time.