The terror of self publication

June 17, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’m very bad at self promotion, but it’s something I have to improve at now. Since today marks my foray into putting my work up on Amazon’s Kindle store. I intend to eventually collect a third volume of essays (some of the best ones are as yet uncollected) and after that, start putting my fiction up there. Once I get some of it finished, that is.

It would be a lie to say I’m anything other than extremely terrified of this step. Because I am. I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I’m basically hurling my work out into the world and praying it finds an audience. After my first book was published, I sat back and let other people worry about these kinds of things. Now I have no one else, save my wife Julian (who is and has always been here for me) to really talk to about what happens with it.

I decided to self publish after several years of trying to find an agent, after personal crises and my day job basically made putting my stuff out there harder and harder and finding someone to help take care of that for me seemed less and less likely. In the end, I saw other people doing it and realized it was better to publish this way than never to publish at all. The last time someone bought any of my work was back in 2005, when I got some essays in Postscripts Magazine. I’ve been pretty much hiding and hoping someone else would come along and do this for me ever since.

And now, I’m awake to the idea that no one else will. So here’s my first kindle book. If it does even reasonably well, there will be more. I have quite a lot to collect and publish. Anyone reading this who wants to help, by all means buy it. But also, publicize it for me. Post it on your blogs, your facebook pages, your twitter feeds, call up your grandma if you think it will help. This is terra incognita for me. Anything you can do that might get someone to drop a couple of bucks here, I would appreciate.

Now I’m just gonna sit here for a while trembling at the idea of all of this.

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