June 16, 2017 § Leave a comment
I’m an absolutely terrible salesman. But I’m the only salesman I have, and so, I’m going to try and talk up my work here, on my blog, without doing any of the usual self-deprecation or self-effacement I usually do in these situations. The truth is, if I don’t present myself as believing in my work, why would you even be interested in reading it?
And I do believe in my work. I believe in it so much that despite going blind, despite repeatedly having to go in and let them inject me in both eyes and endure having lasers burn holes in my retinas, I made sure I finished these books. That’s how much I believe in it, and how much it means to me. « Read the rest of this entry »
June 14, 2017 § Leave a comment
I’m still doing a giveaway of my book Heartless if people email me asking for it, but while I’m at it, here’s something my friend Pete and I worked on a while back. It’s not finished and we’ve since changed direction on it like twice, but it’s still pretty cool in my opinion. August 5 1997
It’s free so that’s a plus. Enjoy. Feel free to let me know if you liked it. We’d like to bring the characters back again someday.
June 13, 2017 § Leave a comment
I’m married to a woman. I love her. I think I might curl up into a ball and die if she left or I lost her. I have no interest in being with anyone else. These are all true statements.
I am bisexual. This is also a true statement.
June 10, 2017 § Leave a comment
You’ve likely heard the saying about depression being a liar, how it tells you awful things about yourself that paralyze you. That’s true. I’m not going to belabor that, but I do want to talk about how that paralysis can ruin you.
June 8, 2017 § Leave a comment
My new novel, Faceless, is out on Amazon. It is, in my opinion, the best of the Nameless series, exploring Lovecraftian themes that I’ve spent my life dealing with as both a writer of weird fiction and a native of Rhode Island. Growing up as a lover of things weird in that start, you eventually run into the Lovecraft mountain, and this is the book that comes out of my attempt to play handball with said mountain – to throw ideas off of the Cthulhu Mythos and see where they stick, and where they don’t. I also tried to deal with racism and a lot of topics that are implicit but rarely discussed in Lovecraft’s work. Even though I do love me some Mythos, it’s impossible to ignore that old HPL was, to put it mildly, crazily racist. A modern writer looking back on his work needs to address that.
March 16, 2017 § Leave a comment
I have read this article several times. It’s a long, complicated, well written, well examined look at euthanasia through the lens of one family’s experiences, with plenty of details from outside that one case. I’m not here to try and expand upon it. It’s worth reading and thinking about.
I’m not against euthanasia. I generally believe that if life has become unendurable, it should be within the power of the person suffering to make the decision on that. As a survivor of a suicide attempt and a disabled man just now coming to terms with my disability (visual impairment – I’m blind in one eye and impaired severely in the other) I do have thoughts about the topic, however, and I want to share them.
The rest of this post is going behind a cut in case people don’t want to read or head about these topics.
January 19, 2017 § 1 Comment
I did a post back on the 4th covering my family situation. It’s actually gotten slightly worse, but people have done what they could and I appreciate every bit of help we got. This is only tangentially related to that post. In that post I mentioned that I was eligible for a Hugo award this year for both Nameless and Heartless, the two novels I published in 2016. I then asked folks to nominate me.
Being that I was a trifle stressed (still am) I failed to notice that it costs $165 US to become a member of Worldcon75, and thus be eligible to nominate someone for a Hugo award. That’s money I don’t even have myself, so asking people to spend that money just to nominate my books for an award is hubris writ large. That kind of kicked me in the stomach when I saw it.
So I apologize to anyone who felt like I expected them to spend that kind of money just to nominate me. That’s absurd. I don’t expect that. I should have realized what I was asking, and I apologize.
However, if you’re going to Worldcon75, or you already went to MidAmeriCon 2 (which was the 2016 Worldcon) or you’re going to Worldcon76 (the 2018 Worldcon) that means you’re already eligible to nominate. If that is the case, I’m still willing to ask you to consider nominating me. Why?
Well, first off, both novels are good. That’s not just me saying so. You can look at the reviews for Heartless on both Amazon and Goodreads and do likewise for Nameless as well. I’m not really very good at self promotion, as this post clearly attests, but I believe I’ve done good work and will be able to do better work in the future if I’m allowed to.
Frankly, one of the things that might stop me is Diabetic Retinopathy. This isn’t a “Please vote for the blind man” appeal, but rather a bare statement of fact. I only have a few years left at the current rate of degeneration, and as a result I’m focused on the now instead of a few years down the road. I get that many authors in my position would wait and hope to build buzz by putting out more works, but I don’t know that I have that kind of time. In a field where we saw last year outright racist, sexist, bigoted trolls unleash armies of sockpuppets to get books nominated, I’m just asking for consideration from decent people who want SFF to be a more inclusive place.
My work deals with identity, family, love, loss, and dealing with who you are and who you turn into. It includes LGBTQ characters because that’s what my life has included and it’s who I am as well. I want to tell the stories of people like the people I’ve known, sometimes I’ve loved, sometimes I’ve hated. Do I believe that either of my novels were the best that came out last year?
No. I’m not that good yet. I have serious stylistic hobbyhorses that I’m working on, I spent 12 of my prime writing years crippled by depression and self loathing and I’m not on top of my game yet. I’m good, and I’m working to get better, but I’m not the best yet and I know it. But frankly, I really am good. And my books are unique, distinctive, I don’t think you can honestly point to that much else out in the Weird SFF world that is like what I do.
I at least deserve your consideration.
I neither believe I will win nor even believe I will actually be on the short list. No one’s heard of me. I’ve only sold a few thousand copies of my books. I’m extremely obscure, even my one Publisher published book came out over a decade ago and that publisher has since moved into comic books. I’m not under any delusions about how widespread my name is or my chances. And I’m certainly not willing to ask anyone to spend $165 US just to nominate me for an award.
But like I said, my time is running out. I have to do the few things I can do to spread the word about my work while I’m still capable of producing it. Thus this post. This isn’t even a Hail Mary at this point. It’s more like trying to make a basket from the stands of the stadium next to the one the game is being played in. This is me just whipping that thing up into the air and praying it hits a comet. When the nominations period closes and I’m not nominated, I’ll shrug and get back to writing and hoping something breaks for me and my family.
If you feel moved to read my work and consider it, then thank you. That’s really all I can ask.